Pregnant? There are so many thrilling milestones throughout the pregnancy journey. There’s the initial thrill of finding out you’re expecting, then the joy of hearing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time, the excitement of getting that first ultrasound and, for those who choose to find out, the overwhelming joy of finding out the baby’s gender.
But tucked between all of these major, movie-like moments, there’s a lot of stuff you’d never know goes on. For instance… did you know that you don’t get an ultrasound at every appointment? That’s right: In your nine plus month journey, you may only get three ultrasounds total… and many women don’t get any ultrasounds past 20 weeks. Who knew, right? I just assumed we’d be seeing our little guy every time I hoisted myself up on that table. But no, most appointments are quick, 10-minute sessions during which you get weighed, you give a urine sample and a nurse checks your blood pressure.
And did you know that not only are your feet likely to swell during pregnancy, they’re also likely to grow an entire shoe size… and will often stay that way once you’ve delivered? Yup, it’s true. Say goodbye to your entire shoe collection.
There are lots of little gems like these that I learned during my pregnancy journey.
Here are 9 other things first-timers may not know about pregnancy:
1. The time you need the most support is when no one knows you’re pregnant.
Now let me preface this with: Not every woman’s experience is the same. But for myself, and for many of my mom friends, the first trimester was the worst trimester. It’s riddled with morning sickness, horrible fatigue, lots of uncomfortable bloating and, the worst part, the need to pretend all is OK until you’re ready to share your news. Many women wait until they’re safely through the first 14 weeks or so to tell their friends, family and/or coworkers that they’re expecting. Which means that you could spend 14 long weeks studying the inside of office toilets, holding your eye lids open during dinners out, and pretending you don’t have tons of new hormones wreaking havoc on your body, before you get any compassion. Our advice? Try to find an ally. I told two coworkers about my pregnancy fairly early on so I had some support throughout. They also helped cover for me when I had to run out of meetings to get intimate with the toilet, or when the fatigue had me slightly off my work game. If you’re experiencing nausea, you should also invest in an arsenal of Preggie Pops, ginger candy and perhaps even an anti-nausea wrist band.
2. It’s longer than nine months.
The way your due date is calculated is to determine the last day of your last period and then to add 40 weeks from that date. Most months have a little over four weeks in them, which means you’re technically considered pregnant for nearly 10 months. Although, take it from me: Once you hit that 35 week mark, you’re so over the whole thing, you’ll wish it was nine months.
Where to Buy Fashionable Maternity Clothes >
3. It takes forrrrever for the bump to make an appearance.
Like any newly pregnant lady, I was anxious for the outward signs of my exciting news to make their debut. So every morning for about the first six months, I’d spring out of bed and run to the bathroom mirror to check if my bump had arrived. Aside from a little bloat and puffiness, though, it was stubbornly staying hidden. No matter how I pushed it out, or how many maternity shirts I donned, that bump just refused to make an appearance. Until 25 weeks hit. Then, all of a sudden, it was there. Not huge, not perfectly round, not overly obvious to strangers just yet. But to those who knew me, it was finally clear: There was a baby in there.
Be patient. Every mom and every body is different. Your bump will come in one way or another. When and how it looks just depends on your build, your baby’s position and whether it’s your first pregnancy or not.
4. People say the darnedest things.
I’ve never before had so many strangers feel entitled to comment on my body – or my life choices. From male acquaintances commenting on how “chubby” I was getting, to female coworkers telling me the dangers of continuing to exercise through my pregnancy, everyone had an opinion about how I looked or what I should (or shouldn’t) be doing. There’s just something about a pregnant woman that makes people lose all ability to censor themselves. My advice? Take everything – even the advice of other moms – with a grain of salt. Your doctor is the best resource to tell you if you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing. And please, before you say anything other than “congrats!” to a prego lady, read this article on the 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman.
12 Awesome Gifts to Get Your Pregnant BFF >
5. Your body will betray you.
You can head into pregnancy with the best of intentions. You can plan to eat only the most nutritious foods, exercise every morning before work and take every measure to prevent stretch marks. But then cravings and aversions rear their ugly heads, that glorious combination of insomnia and exhaustion set in, and stretch marks and acne decide to make their debut.
Take it from me, a complete type A control freak: There is very little you can control. Normally a total veggie-lover, I couldn’t stomach most of my go-god for much of my pregnancy. An exercise junkie, I had to cut my running mileage in half during my first trimester due to morning sickness. And though I was able to run till about 35 weeks, those later runs were marred by horrible post-run groin pain, which left me laid up on the couch for the entire rest of the day. And soon after that, I was forced to cut back even on my walking, stationary cycling and elliptical-ing because the groin pain started to get too great during these activities as well.
The only advice I can give with this one is that you just have to look at it like this: It’s only nine(ish) months. Just because you’re sweating uncontrollably and your entire back is covered in acne now doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to that for life. And just because you may have to temper your expectations for your workouts and diet doesn’t mean that you won’t be back at it in the near future. Embrace each day for what it is and remind yourself that having so little control is great practice for parenthood.
6. Pregnancy brain is a thing.
I’ll be the first to admit that when pregnant friends used pregnancy brain as an excuse for momentary lapses in judgement… or logic, I dismissed it. Until I got pregnant… And hormones left me clumsy as can be (I have never dropped so many things or run into as many things as I did while pregnant), and as forgetful and absent-minded as the best of them (I once Googled “Google”). I don’t really have any advice for this one other than that you should just accept that it’s bound to happen to you, too. But you’ll probably forget about it, so no harm done.
Packing for the Hospital? 12 Essentials You Need to Bring >
7. Getting dressed is… rough.
In the first few weeks of pregnancy, there is a lot of bloating, making it tough to fit in your normal clothes comfortably. But at the same time, you’re too small for maternity clothes. I made the mistake, during these early days, of ordering far too many maternity clothes. I wanted some options to get me through that awkward period of time when you don’t look pregnant… just chubby, and that would also be wearable when the bump finally made its grand entrance. I bought a bunch of flowy dresses and tops.
But the thing is, the clothes that worked during the early stages didn’t all work later. I definitely jumped the gun buying clothes I thought would work well later. Once my bump made its debut, I realized that fitted clothes made me most comfortable – they made it clear that I was pregnant and not just huge. All those flowy dresses and tops? Still hanging in my closet, tags attached.
The lesson: Don’t buy too many maternity clothes before you know how you are going to look or feel later in your pregnancy. Try to get through the first few months wearing looser clothes already in your closet, and buy a few staple pieces you’ll need once you pop, like maternity jeans and plain tops. Then, once your bump comes in, try on a few different types of clothes made for pregnant women… to decide what is most flattering and comfortable. You’ll save yourself money and all the aggravation that comes with having to return clothes.
8. You will basically become a pin cushion.
I’m not an idiot: I assumed that with pregnancy would come a few blood tests. But I definitely underestimated just how many. From the screening tests early on in the pregnancy, to the more invasive glucose test in the third trimester, there are a multitude of blood tests throughout the pregnancy that will leave your arms a pretty shade of black or blue.
The only good thing about it? By the time your due date rolls around, you will be so used to the poking and prodding, you’ll take that epidural (or handle natural childbirth) like a champ.
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman >
9. You will have a whole new appreciation for your body.
I mean this one in two ways. First, pregnancy makes you realize just how strong, capable and really, unbelievable, your body is. You’ll watch it grow an entirely new organ, double its blood volume, and create an entirely new life.
And second, there’s nothing like an ever-expanding body to make you appreciate the body you had before you got pregnant. I spent years criticizing every little imperfection on my body before getting pregnant. I counted calories and worked out for hours every single day, and was never satisfied. I was insanely hard on myself if I put on a pound. But something about having to embrace an expanding belly and fluid filled limbs has left me appreciating my “normal” body much more. One or two pounds gained after a few weekend indulgences won’t feel so bad after I’ve watched my frame grow to support 20 pounds more than usual.
The female body is amazing and I’m officially in awe of all that it is capable of. I’m ready to celebrate it now… and as it begins it’s journey back to its pre-pregnancy state.